Why online dating is not my bag, baby

I've found myself in a number of conversations over the last few weeks about online dating. And then I read Jess's post about it. And then I felt the need to tell the world why I am anti-online dating (for me, not for anyone else. You all do what you want). And here I am!

I've done the online dating thing. Sort of. And by that I mean I don't think I really gave it the old college try (PS, what does that even mean? Raise your hand if you really tried all that hard in college. Ahem, crickets. I tried hard at playing beer pong). I mean, I talked to a lot of guys. I met a few. I had one surprise attack me with half-naked (the wrong half. Or right half, if that kind of things excites you) jumping jacks via a video chat function I didn't even know existed in the site's IM system. You know, the usual.

I started putting myself out there on the great internets because I was bored, I wanted to meet new people, and I was under a lot of peer pressure. But after a relatively short time I got sick of it and vowed to never do it again and here, my friends, are the reasons why:

1) I am too skeptical. In my world, all men are guilty until proven innocent. Or should I say, unfit to date me until proven otherwise. When I read online profiles, I don't see a wealth of potential soulmates or even potential I'd-be-willing-to-let-this-dude-buy-me-a-drink-and-see-if-it-goes-anywheres. I see dead people losers.

2) Everyone sounds the same. Every guy out there loves to travel, likes to go out and have fun but occasionally just relax at home on the couch with a movie, and wants a chill girl he can take home to mom. I'm sorry, but I have yet to meet anyone that's all "Fuck traveling! I hate vacations!" I am not a generic woman and I have no interest in meeting a generic man.

3) I hate dates. Some people like going on dates because you at the very least get to try new bars or restaurants, sometimes the other party even pays for your food or drinks, you get to meet someone new, and maybeeee it evolves into some kind of romance or at least a lustful encounter. I am not one of those people. I find small talk painful to engage in and free drinks or no free drinks, my time is more valuable to me when put towards...most anything else.

4) I just don't care enough. The whole aspect of meeting new people, whether you're hoping they turn into spouse material or you just want a fresh face to talk to, really has no appeal to me, I realized. Sure, I like meeting new people, but I like meeting them organically, not in some weird pre-determined setting that's rife with hope and expectation even if no one admits to that being the case. I don't feel that my life will suffer in any way if I DON'T find out who might be waiting there for me at match/eHarmony/Jdate/whatever. Especially because I've never gone on an internet date with someone who I wanted to see again, platonically or otherwise. So what's the point in meeting new people once? Unless they're single service friends, which these are not.

The point is, online dating is a waste of my money. Not yours necessarily, just mine. And despite Dan's advice, I am not about to start craigslist dating. Friends don't let friends meet people on craigslist. Or at least, they shouldn't.