Bikram yoga: the time I called it quits

Yes, dear friends, the end has arrived. I quit Bikram. After 87 days.

For the record, I'm not quitting forever, but I AM quitting this drop-the-rest-of-your-life-and-go-every-f'ing-day nonsense.

You may recall that I was trying to make it to 90 days. So the fact that I made it to 87 days seems pretty pathetic, but I can't even pretend like I'm upset about it.

The thing is, I hit a wall. Not a physical one, because my practice was actually continuing to improve all the time. The wall I hit was mental. And I hit it hard.

Nearly 3 months of daily practice, as much as it made me physically stronger and healthier, was slowly driving me insane. I was exhausted from waking up to go to yoga before work on the days where I had post-work plans (which was most days). I was sad about not playing nearly as much volleyball as I would have liked. I was tired of hand-washing clothes and towels DAILY because there's no way that I could do laundry at the same pace as I was getting my belongings sweaty and gross. I was annoyed at having to constantly rearrange my schedule in order to fit in the nearly 2.5 hours you have to allot for class. Bikram was starting to own my life.

Mostly, though, I got bored. Doing the same 26 poses and listening to the same dialogue every day no longer kept my attention the same way it used to. I found myself daydreaming in class, going through the motions because I had long since learned what came next, the teacher's voice more background noise than instructional tool.

On day 87, last Tuesday, I spent the entire class fantasizing about not going anymore. As weird as it sounds, I was longing to swim laps, or go to a spin class, or really ANY other form of exercise. I also realized that if I was going to stick to the terms of the challenge I set out for myself, I wouldn't have been able to stop at 90 days. I was supposed to do 2 classes in one day for each time I missed a class, and while I had missed 6 classes, I had only done 4 doubles and there was no chance I could squeeze in 2 more before day 90. So to get my doubles done, I'd have to keep going until who knows when.

By the end of class that day, I was unsure about whether or not I was going to continue. I thought maybe I'd try to stick it out.

On day 88, my alarm went off at 6 AM, and I groggily reset it for 8 AM and went back to bed, assuming I could go to yoga after work. I later saw some emails about hanging out with my cousins that night, and realized that by not getting out of bed at 6, I had missed any opportunity to go to Bikram that day. An hour or so later, I realized I had developed a (thankfully very mild) case of athlete's foot (gross overshare, sorry yo), which I am about 95% sure stems from walking around barefoot in a studio where tons of other sweaty feet go and that is definitely not disinfected between classes.

I took this as a sign and have not been back to yoga in the week since. And it feels wonderful.

To be clear, I still love Bikram. In fact, I will probably go to class after work tomorrow. And I hope that I will continue to go at least a few times a month. I truly believe that it offers a ton of health benefits. But practicing daily is intense and while I didn't mind it at all for the first 80 days or so, it was starting to wear on me. I, dear friends, am a Bikram burnout.

From now on, I will be attending casually. I refuse to let Bikram run my life any longer!

The night I found the future

Where to begin with the Find the Future experience? I’ve already explained how the game worked, but the actual night was so much more than scanning QR codes and writing essays. It was crazy and inspiring and collaborative and something that I am still so honored to say that I’ve done (5,000 people applied for these 500 spots!).

From the time the doors opened at 7 PM until they were locked behind us at 8 PM, we milled around, dealt with the first of countless tech problems (many of us couldn’t log in to the app on our phones), shared excitement over our VIP badges, and connected with faces new and – for those of us who had met up at happy hours or library tours in the preceding weeks – old.

I was overjoyed when I Twitter stalked ran into fellow Tufts alum Jen, and she informed me that there were 2 additional Jumbos participating in Find the Future. This only confirms what I already knew about Tufts being a haven for all people awesome and nerdy. Look for our picture in a future edition of the Tufts Magazine, y’all.

When the game started, we were asked to self-select into the Patience or Fortitude teams. As the least patient person I know, I obviously selected Fortitude, and was happy to end up on a squad of the Best. People. Ever. Ian1, Ian2, Amanda, Seth, Nazary, Julia, and myself. We called ourselves The Posse and I CANNOT EVEN EXPRESS HOW AMAZING WE ARE. Okay, caps lock over.

This fabulous Posse picture courtesy of Ian2

For the first hour or so of the game, there were often lines to unlock artifacts because certain sections of the library were closing early and there was a rush to get those items completed. The jokes that flew around about all the Patience people getting to the back of the line since us Fortitude players hated waiting never got old. Seriously. Never.

I mentioned earlier how amazing The Posse was. I mean, every team thinks they’re amazing, and they’re all probably right. The small subset of the 500 people that I got to meet contained some of the brightest, most ambitious, completely hilarious people I’ve ever met. But one thing that made The Posse stand out was our unique way of finding each other when we got separated. There is something sinfully gratifying about repeatedly making a high-pitched dolphin call in a library, a building more typically associated with silence and decorum.

Oh hey, did you know that you can't embed a wav file in a blog post on Blogger? Apparently not. But believe me when I say that I made a lovely recording of me doing our team call. It went something like...OOAH OOAH! Heheh.

Much of the game was as I described it in my last post – running around, unlocking artifacts, delighting in completely dorky glee when your phone vibrated in your hand, signaling that an artifact’s power had been transferred to you and its story was unlocked. The Posse sat at a table, a veritable mass of laptops, chargers and power strips between us, and discussed the stories we wanted to write, bounced ideas off each other, and got to work.

Much of the game didn’t happen as planned – when the app stopped syncing so items you had scanned weren’t actually unlocking on the website, or when one of the tech guys ran around saying, “Please copy and paste your work from the website into a Word document, the website is about to crash!” and other difficulties. But to say this sullied my experience in the slightest would be a lie. The point of the game was collaboration, and we got around all the snafus somehow.

Around 2 AM or so, it became apparent that we were going to complete all 100 stories with more than enough time to spare. The stash of Red Bull was depleted and motivation was waning. Many of us used this opportunity to explore the centennial exhibition leisurely, without the pressure of trying to locate QR codes to scan or running back upstairs to get started on a writing task. I cannot stress enough how truly amazing some of the objects are, and any time I encountered a pair of people standing in front of a glass case, deep in conversation about Dickens or Kerouac or Bronte, I tried to eavesdrop a little (hi everyone, the creeper in the black and red dress, that was me!).

But even the exhibition took only so much time, and eventually, we had to get creative. I stumbled upon this lovely 3 AM yoga class, for example.


Around 4 AM, we decided it was time to play freeze tag. Which morphed into the impending-Rapture-appropriate zombie tag.


Seriously. I played tag in the New York Public Library in the middle of the night. I CANNOT GET OVER THIS.

One part of the game which lasted throughout the entire night was, as I mentioned in the last post which you all so carefully read I’m sure, finding a random person’s postcard from the future and trying to deliver it. For awhile, people would walk up and down the aisles screaming someone’s name, hoping for a response. That was how I managed to deliver my postcard – after yelling “MEGAN! MEGAN! MEGAN!” a few hundred times, someone finally responded.

Sometimes though, that didn’t exactly work. People starting posting in the Facebook group or on Twitter. “John, I have your future!” People walked around with signs. They put up notes in random places. I walked into our break room at one point to grab a snack, and I found a napkin lying on the food table with my name and a phone number. I texted it: “Hi, this is Arielle. You have my future!”

Ashley took this amazing picture of my postcard still in hiding in the library stacks. I know I don't typically put my last name here so if you didn't already know it, let's just all agree to not stalk me, okay? Okay. And now that you DO know it, friend me on Facebook!

When this postcard delivery shenaniganery was explained at the start of the night, I saw it all going very, very badly. But in actuality, it added about 300 fun points to the game (the game contained a superfluous points system, so now I have one too). This was particularly true as the night wore on and people became desperate – someone FINALLY connecting with their note from the future would result in cheering and applause.

Technical difficulties and intense exhaustion aside, Find the Future was an experience that I wouldn’t have traded for anything. I met amazing people, wrote a few pieces that I really love (future post!), saw influential artifacts, read up on the past and thought about the future. I’m super grateful to the NYPL for hosting us in an event that not only allowed us, but FORCED us to break so many library rules (Running! Photography! Food! Drinks! Yelling!), to the brilliant Jane McGonigal, and to my 499 fellow players, even the ones I didn’t have the opportunity to meet. You can now find me in the NYPL’s online catalog as an AUTHOR. Boo. Ya. Ka. Sha.

We came. We saw. We wrote the book. =)

Find the Future: explained. Sort of.

Remember when I said I was going to play a game at the New York Public Library overnight? Yep, that happened.

I arrived at the main branch of the NYPL at 7 PM on Friday and did not leave until 6 AM Saturday. The thought of trying to describe what those 11 hours were like is daunting, so I'm going to break it into a few blog posts so that one day I can look back and read about it in all the glorious detail that I may have forgotten by then. This post is going to be my best attempt at breaking down the mechanics of the game, called Find the Future (Find the Future is also the theme of the overall NYPL centennial celebration).

I'm also going to say that this post is long and probably dry, but if you go to the game's website you can a) look at the things I'm talking about and more importantly, b) play online. This game is some cool ish and if you're a nerd like me (you know who you are) I would HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend playing online sometime between now and the end of 2011.

When the game began, we were divided into 2 teams: Patience and Fortitude, which are the names of the big lions outside the library. Roar.

Photo credit

From our larger teams we self-divided into smaller squads of 2 to 8 people.

The crux of the game was locating and "unlocking" 100 different historical artifacts, all of which belonged to someone or represented an event that had significant impact, or changed the world in some way.

A few of the amazing things we got to see:
- A draft of the Declaration of Independence
- A map of Drake's voyage
- Mark Twain's birthday menu
- Virginia Woolf's walking stick
- Beatles trading cards
- Malcolm X's briefcase and notebook
- Original Wizard of Oz drawings

Artifacts were arranged by levels, so even if you passed an artifact that was part of the game, you couldn't necessarily unlock it if, for example, the artifact was in level 5 but you were still on level 2. You opened new levels by unlocking more and more items.

The way you unlocked an artifact was by locating it both in the library and in your handy Find the Future smartphone app. You used the phone to read about the item's historical significance and then scan a QR code located near the artifact. Once the phone recognized the code, it unlocked the artifact and also "transferred its power to you" (air quotes) via a legitimately cool process of placing your thumb on your touch screen, your phone making an awesome swirly pattern, and then the phone vibrating to show that you were done absorbing the object's power (yes, there is a cheese element here, I get it).

There were 10 total powers, with very nerdy gamer-sounding names like Midnight Ocean, Jar of 7 Secrets, Cloud Fortress, etc. Each power was supposed to represent one of the strengths needed in order to change the world (are we getting the futuristic focus of the game now?), and unlocking an object would give you a random number of points towards certain powers. So it would say "+7 Hero's Compass, +3 Conjuring Hand," etc. This was a fun layer to add to the game but really had no bearing on anything, and frankly I don't even remember what any of the powers actually mean. Doh.

Once you unlocked an artifact you could go back to your computer, log in to the game's website, and see the story - which was really a writing or drawing prompt - associated with it. Each prompt took the item's significance and used it to pose a challenge that was forward thinking. They were meant to inspire people to think about the future and what part they might have in changing it. For example, there is an inspirational Milton quote above the library's reading room, which was our home base for the night. Once that item was unlocked, you could access the "Writing on the Wall" story, which challenged you to write an equally inspirational quote that could in theory take the place of the Milton one and would inspire people for years to come.

Both the Patience and Fortitude teams were expected to complete all 100 tasks, and we kept track of this via several easels with checklists where the smaller squads could register the stories they were working on. You were allowed to duplicate efforts, however, so just because one team claimed a story didn't mean you were prevented from also submitting something - as long as it all got done, all was well.

As you submitted things, your level in certain achievements would go up - for example, you would become a writer level 3, or illustrator level 1, or what have you. Again, this was a fun thing to add to the game but didn't actually impact anything, which is probably good seeing as even after submitting 3 essays I was still a writer level 0 (technical difficulties, we had many).

By 6 AM, there was to be at minimum 100 stories from each of the 2 teams that would all be bound together in a book. And yes, there was an old school style book binder on location working through the night, binding by hand as the stories poured in.

Another element of the night were the library stacks tours - because the NYPL is a research library, their materials don't circulate and the stacks aren't open to the public. Only about 30 people are authorized to enter them on an average day, but the 500 of us were super lucky in that we got to go way down in the basement and take tours, which left every 10 minutes. While on the tour, we were instructed to pick up one of the postcards that were placed strategically throughout the stacks. Each participant had a postcard addressed to them with a handwritten note on it commending them on their future achievements.

I should mention at this point that the application for the game involved answering the prompt, "By the year 2021, I want to become the first person who..." and so each postcard assumed that you had accomplished whatever you set out to do, and thanked you for making the world a better place because of it.

When you picked up a random postcard on the stacks tour, it then became your mission to find the person whose note you had and hand it to them. More on this hilarity in a subsequent post.

AND FINALLY, there were also clues on the tour that would help you determine a secret phrase that we could all use in the future to identify fellow Find the Future participants.

Sound intense? It was. I am in nothing but awe of Jane McGonigal, the game's creative director (check out her TED talk, it's super interesting).

Sound fun? IT WAS. OBVIOUSLY.

More to come about what this whole crazy experience was actually like.

Day 72 - Bikram Culture Shock

Today I went to the Bikram studio near my new digs in Brooklyn for the first time. I was a little nervous because even though my Manhattan studio has 4 different locations, after 71 straight days I had become super comfortable with all 4 spots. I knew the layouts, the best places to lay my mat down, which showers were the best, and so on.

The thing about Bikram yoga is that because it’s the exact same class every time and everywhere you go, it’s easier to pick up on the small differences.

This Brooklyn location totally threw me for a loop. I walked in 25 minutes before the class started, and while the teacher was there to check me in, not a single other student showed up for another 10 minutes. At Bikram Yoga NYC this is unheard of. People arrive obscenely early for class to stake out their spots. When I walked in the room, however, I realized why no one felt the need to show up that early – the studio is massive and the 6:30 am class (yes, that is correct) is so sparsely attended that we all had more than enough space.

I walked into the locker rooms to find not lockers, but open cubbies. I guess people in Brooklyn are more trusting about people not stealing their stuff. While the locker rooms were equipped with the usual showers and hair dryers, there were no q-tips, no plastic bags for your sweaty clothes, and a few other things that I had sort of taken for granted. Towels are no longer free with my membership, and my Nalgene does not fit under the faucet in the tiny bathroom sink, which means if I don’t come to the studio with a full bottle of water, I’ll need to pay a dollar to have them fill it for me with filtered water (they have this in Manhattan also, but it seems that most people just fill up in the sink – NYC tap water is the best, as everyone knows).

The class was more or less what I expected it to be, until one part in the standing series. For 71 days I had been accustomed to a part of the class where you stand facing the side of the room for a few poses. The reason for this is that there are several poses that involve standing with your legs wide apart, and they have you face the side so that both feet can still be on your mat. So today, on day 72, I stood facing the side of the room, and I realized that no one else was doing the same. Everyone was still facing the front. So I followed suit. Instead of both feet being on the mat, everyone kept one foot on the left side of the mat, and one foot on the right.

This was super weird. With my feet on the floor and not on my mat and towel, I had nothing to prevent me from sliding. No one else seemed to have an issue with this, but I could barely focus on the postures because I was trying so hard not to fall into a split.

A quick Google search shows that apparently this is how it’s supposed to be done. Doh. My guess is that some studios have you face the side because it takes up less space that way, and lord knows that during the rush hour classes at Bikram Yoga NYC we are just short of being stacked on top of each other.

And finally, at the end of the class, the teacher said, "Have a nice week!" and walked out of the studio. No "namaste." I mean, this is a YOGA class. If you don't say "namaste" at the end, does the yoga even exist?

I miss my old studio but I’m excited to be able to practice 4 blocks from my apartment. And I assume I’ll get used to the changes soon enough.

Adventures at the New York Public Library

In about 2 weeks, I am going to spend my Friday night at the New York Public Library, running around like a maniac trying to locate specific artifacts, a la From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler.

Yet again I have spoiled a blog post by opening with the punchline. But seriously.

A month ago, my friend Britt sent me a link to this crazy game called Find the Future, hosted by the library in honor of their centennial. 500 people were being selected to run around the library in the middle of the night, using clues on their smartphones to locate 100 different objects and writing essays based on the prompts associated with those objects. By the time the game ends at 6 AM, the 500 people will collectively have written a book which will be available on library shelves. It sounded awesome, and I knew I couldn't move on with my life until my application was submitted.

When I got my acceptance email I pretty much died.

RUNNING AROUND THE NYPL OVERNIGHT! TELL ME THAT IS NOT THE BEST THING!!!

Okay, my inner (and outer) nerd are obviously excited. I'm pumped to play the game, to find out what kind of cool ish the library has within it (some examples are a draft copy of the Declaration of Independence and Charles Dickens' letter opener), to hopefully be inspired by the prompts to actually write something legit for the first time in too long, to meet other nerds, and...well I'm just excited for the whole thing, really.

Cool stuff like this doesn't typically happen to me so I am grateful and antsy and just SO ridiculously happy that I get to be a part of this, whatever it ends up being.

Hell yes.

World Trade Center

Today’s New York Times had a special section called, “The Death of Osama Bin Laden.”

I flipped through it, reading some of the articles, when I came across a picture of the Twin Towers on 9/11, smoke pouring out of them. It had been awhile since I had seen the image and now seems..weird, for lack of a better word.

I stared at the picture for awhile and after a moment, something struck me. I looked out my office window. I looked back at the picture. I looked back out the window. Then back down at the picture. I realized that I was IN the picture.

I wasn’t actually in the picture, of course. I was in college on 9/11. But my office building is very much present in this, and probably many other pictures from that day.

It was enough to give me a supreme case of the FREAKING OUTS.

It goes without saying, of course, that I work right near Ground Zero. One block away, in fact. I took a stroll over there yesterday to see the increased pedestrian traffic and to count what ended up being 27 news trucks. With President Obama coming here on Thursday, I imagine that number is going to double.

I can’t help but wonder what it would have been like if I had been here and not in Boston in 2001. There are so many questions running through my head about what that day would have been like for me.

But it’s better that I’ll never know.

An intro to Brooklyn

If you're like me, you know very little about Brooklyn. One of the things I'm most looking forward to in living here is the fact that I will one day be far more familiar with the BK than I am now. Since I've only been here for about a week, I thought I'd take this handy map of Brooklyn neighborhoods (thanks, Wikipedia) and give you my current impression of the borough now, at my most ignorant. Enjoy! Sorry I can't get the map to show up larger. Stupid Blogger.

1. DUMBO - Best. Neighborhood Name. Ever. This is an acronym for "Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass." I love it.

2. Williamsburg - HIPSTERS

3. Park Slope/Sunset Park - MEEEEEEE

4. Red Hook - IKEA

5. Gravesend - delicious pizza

6. Coney Island - freaks and hot dogs

7. Brighton Beach - Russia

8. Manhattan Beach - clearly NOT Manhattan. Nice try, though.

9. Barren Island - oh, hello most depressing name ever. Sounds lovely, can't imagine why I've never been.

10. Crown Heights - my cousin lives here. She is fabulous.

11. Cypress Hills - insane in the membrane, INSANE IN THE BRAIN

12. East Flatbush - why is East Flatbush about 500% larger than regular Flatbush?

13. BoCoCa - I know New Yorkers hate this term, but I think it's fun and catchy - Boerum Hill, Cobble Hill, Carroll Gardens.

14. Brooklyn Heights - one of my bestest sorority sisters lives here. She rules.


Well, that ends today's lesson. Hope you all learned something. One day I might even have more to contribute to this.