Emails from a crazy person

So I sort of predicted that the Bongo Jordy thing wasn't over. And..I was right.

Last time I wrote about him I had stopped responding to him and he had sent me a few more emails. Over 2 weeks later, I still haven't acknowledged him in any way, and the emails from him even stopped for about a week. But recently they've been back with a vengeance. So I'll post some here, summarize others, and ignore more. Whenever I start a new paragraph it means it's a new email. So, bask in the sheer volume, please.

For those of you on the official Bongo Jordy email list: there is a lot of new material here. Something for everyone!

OK you're mission if you choose to accept it is to make yourself into a human bomb and detonate yourself in a public place. And for your honourablity and bravery you will be rewarded with hundreds of virgins in a cloud like atmosphere. Good luck!

Last night (Monday) I screen a call from him. The voicemail says something to the effect of, "I'm so sorry about the messages. I want to get together with you. Sorry. Really sorry. Let's meet up. Call me. Sorry. Let me know. Sorry."

This morning when I woke up I had TWO more voicemails from him. The first one, in his words but shortened: "You talked to me before, you're rude not to answer my emails. I do not text. Texting is for teenagers. You're sexy, but this doesn't give you the right to not respond to my emails. I'm nice and I know what's up. If you're seeing some other dork, fuck that dork. I will give you Bahamas. I will give you love. Frankly, I just like you. I think it's fucked up that you're ignoring me. I'm the overall package."

The second: "Arielle, it's Jordan. Please call me back. I'm alone in the city and it sucks. I'm asking you for a little mercy. I'm a good guy. I'm smart. Call me. Bye."

Then when I got to work, a barrage of emails started. So yes, ALL of the emails below came TODAY. Also, one of my first orders of business at work today was to figure out how to block his number. This I did successfully.

I was really drunk I'm sorry about that, I went on a date, made out with her she drank to much, I drank to much she made me leave the bar after she came on to another Guy, and he started to hit on her, I got made, went outside slipped on my ass twice and spranged my ankle badly, then went home and called every girls number that I had(including the girl I went out with) and begged basically for theme to call me. Horrible night and Im sorry. But I sprang my ankle and fell on my ass twice, hard if its any consolation. Also I really think she took the Guy home,(he looked exactly like tiger woods) I swear he could have been his double, worse night I had in a long time.

And did you know Beethoven was deaf?

Also did you know that Jesus is the Messiah?

I don't drink too often, but when I do I tend to over indulge, which can send people the wrong message literally and figuratively. So I would like to apologize for my rash behavior and rather abrubt and random persistence which I'm sure you find unduly anoying and or frightening. I am a normal Guy before more than three drinks, tend to casually return into that state about 7 hours after initial consumption of the said alcohol in question. I would also like to note that I am nice person and very optimistic. I also feel I have a bright future that will be financially secure. I also plan to further my education by attending law school of which I am currently studying the pre-qualifing LSAT exam. Again sorry for abstrusive montage of letter, in which my hand though beligerant wrote. Thank you

So what I like the t.v show One Tree Hill, particularly the theme song, who doesn't right?

Back to Arielle talking! In this next email, Jordy tells me he's writing a screenplay called "The Lunch Club," and then proceeds to describe The Breakfast Club. FUNNY. Not.

And did you know Van Gough never sold a painting in his life.

Then he sent me another unsolicited picture (this is the 3rd) and GOD I AM SO NICE FOR NOT POSTING IT. I still think he's cute, actually. Too bad he's a crackhead/alcoholic.

I'm moving to Seattle if you want to come with me you can, we can get married, if not it was a pleasure not talking to you.

Ezra shmezra, he' a hypocrit Moses himself married an Ethiopian woman.

There's alot of oysters but no pearls.

Do you like the band third eye blind?

Then he sent me this picture, which I just don't get.


That was this afternoon. When I got home from work today I set up a filter on my Gmail account that not only sends his emails directly to my trash, but also sends him an auto-response saying that I'm no longer available at this email address.

Will he get the hint? Who knows. I used to be flattered by the attention but um...suffice to say I'm way past flattered and onto fully creeped out.