"I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight"

Any woman who has ever wanted to lose even one pound would be lying if she said she wasn't secretly jealous of people who lost weight from being violently ill (you've thought this too, don't lie).

As I have finally recovered from my first stomach virus in...13 or so years, I am here to say that IT IS NOT WORTH IT.

Having to run off the bus when you're only halfway home because you think you're about to be sick, and then calling your roommate to come pick you up because there isn't another bus for 45 minutes? NOT WORTH IT.

Laying in bed for 7 hours and not sleeping at all because of intense nausea interspersed with bouts of stomach pain that feel like someone has a death grip on your internal organs? (Plus, you know, the intermittent trips to the bathroom to vomit). NOT WORTH IT.

Missing both work and class because you can barely walk from the couch to your bedroom to get a hoodie when, by the way, there is no reason for you to be in a hoodie, fleece pants and nap socks when it's almost 80 degrees outside? NOT WORTH IT.

100.1 fever? Every muscle in your body aching? Being hot, cold, light-headed and nauseous all at the same time? NOT WORTH IT.

I lost 6 pounds in 36 hours and friends, you could not pay me enough to go through that again.

But on the bright side, I am alive and well and my appetite is back and I can actually go downstairs to get the mail. And no, it was not food poisoning (I'm not sure why everyone asks that right after I blatantly say "stomach virus") and yes, I know where I got it from and you can read about it here! If you read the article, which about 1 of you will, you will see that even though I was alone in my apartment, I was clearly not alone in my suffering.