I have a problem

Thursday, April 23, 2009
This is very serious.

I am an irresponsible umbrella owner. There, I said it.

I am constantly without an umbrella in the rain. It's not that I don't own an umbrella. In fact, I currently own 2. I just never seem to have it on me when I need it. But my problem, unfortunately, goes oh so much further than that.

I lose umbrellas like other people lose, well, anything. Sunglasses, cell phones, tempers. I really suck at umbrella ownership.

When I was living in Manhattan, I was constantly buying $9.99 umbrellas from Duane Reade (the NYC answer to CVS, though they have CVS too, of course) because Duane Reades are about as populous as Starbuckseseseses and I pretty much always know where to find one when I need a quick umbrella fix. The problem with these umbrellas is that they're pretty crappy and I have definitely broken my fair share of them. Also, sometimes they grow legs and run away. That's the only excuse for why I lose them. Right.

Since moving to Boston, I have purchased four (4) Duane Reade umbrellas in New York. That's right. I still manage to have a void of umbrellas when I need them in a city I don't even live in anymore. How many trips have I taken to NYC since moving to Boston? 6, maybe? That means that it has rained on my Manhattan weekends about 67% of the times I've been there, and also, that I pretty much never check the weather before I leave Boston.

Do you know how many of those 4 umbrellas I still own? One. Just one.

When I went to NYC in October for my 25th birthday blowout, I bought an umbrella. I left it at my friend Anna's apartment. When I came back 2 weeks later, it was gone.

When I visited this past weekend, I bought an awesome bright yellow umbrella at about 4 PM. At about 7:45 PM, I left it in the bathroom at the awesome Mr. Broadway pageant and didn't realize it until 3 hours later when I was walking in a torrential downpour trying to figure out where the F my stupid umbrella went. That's over $2.50 an hour for umbrella usage because I didn't even own the damn thing for 4 full hours.

The third one? I couldn't even tell you where it got to.

I've been keeping Duane Reade's umbrella business going since 2005. Mark it down.

I think the fact that I can't take care of an umbrella means I'm not ready for a dog. Damnit.

6 comments:

Lys said...

haha, i don't have a problem with losing umbrellas, my problem is that i always forget to bring it and then it rains. always. without fail. if i bring a damn umbrella, it doesn't rain, if i don't bring an umbrella, oh look! downpour.

Susan said...

I lost my camera for over a month and I just found it today- it was sunk deep down in my couch cushion.

Also, I hate umbrellas, I don't own one.

Bayjb said...

Sadly, I was the same way, until I got a $40 for my birthday and I haven't lost it since. Once you have more to lose, you try everything not to ;)

Pretty Unfamous said...

Umbrellas suck. Only because I'm never out in the rain enough to want to buy an expensive one that won't break.

P said...

I have lost many umbrellas in the past - either that or a severe gust of wind has ruined them! I don't think it should be allowed to rain if its windy, and vice versa. Umbrellas aren't the most practical of things really...

Anonymous said...

I'm the opposite, I have a lovely HUGE black umbrella with multi-colored polka dots all over it I never get to use. I bought it last spring when Colorado was having lots of mid-afternoon showers. The day I bought I got to use it once and then the showers ceased. WHAaa?! Not fair. Good luck. Maybe you need a smaller one to chain to your wrist or attach to your purse. Wait, if we chain it to your purse you might forget the purse too. Not a good idea. Good luck :)

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