A month or so ago I was sitting around with some friends from high school, talking, as women our age are wont to do, about weddings.
"One of my life goals is to officiate a wedding," I said.
My friend turned to me and goes, "You'd be really good at that."
"I KNOW!" I replied. And then I proceeded to intensely stare down everyone at the table, as if to say, "When you get married LET ME OFFICIATE YOUR WEDDING." Everyone got the message. And was also pretty creeped out by my stare-down.
I don't have a ton of big life goals, but I really want to officiate a friend's wedding in a major way. Are you reading this? Are you my friend? Are you not yet married? Great. Here's why you should let me officiate your wedding.
1) I'll do it for free! And free is always better than not free. If you aren't planning on having an open bar at your wedding, we may need to discuss some payment in the form of vodka. But otherwise, totally gratis!
2) I am more than willing to become one of those ordained-via-the-internet ministers if you insist on having some kind of official religious person run your wedding. This should show you my full and total commitment to the cause, because if a Jewish girl who works for a Jewish organization is willing to become a minister for you, that's love, friends.
3) Everyone will think you're cool for having a friend officiate your wedding. Weddings are all about showing off how awesome and unique you are, and having a friend perform the ceremony says to everyone, "I have the coolest friends in the world because I'm willing to let one of them have a pretty big role in one of the most important days of my life," and also, "Look how alternative and fun and young I am! The person officiating this wedding is my age!"
4) By far the most important reason - I will write a seriously amazing ceremony. It will be personalized but not inside joke-y so as to alienate your friends and family. It will be poignant but not cheesy. It will be funny but not tasteless (see: most best man speeches that recite a laundry list of the groom's most embarrassing moments, making everyone uncomfortable). I've given 2 speeches at weddings and both got really good feedback. After the most recent one last September, I was approached by a family member who told me how great my speech was, and then said, "It was one of the best wedding speeches I've ever heard. And I'm a wedding planner, so I've heard a lot."
If you think I'm telling this story just to brag, then I mean DUH that's obviously why I'm telling this story. If a positive review from a person who plans weddings for a living isn't a kickass reference, then I don't know what is.
Got it? Awesome. Now, someone go get engaged, pronto.
2 comments:
Okay so I just commented on Facebook too but yes, you would write an amazing ceremony and I will perhaps one day be calling on your services.
That would so cool! I always love it when a friend officiates because it's so much more personal, especially for my friends who aren't that religious. Plus, it'd be cool to do it just for the bragging rights.
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