Don't Rain On My Parade

Over the last few years, Facebook (as well as other social media) has become so much more than just a place to share photos or stalk people you haven't seen since 5th grade. It's become a marketplace of opinions, both of the solicited and the unsolicited variety. This is heightened during important moments in sports, TV, current events, general pop culture, politics, and whatever else.

Sometimes Facebook opinions make me happy, like when someone says they just started reading the Harry Potter series and they remark about how great it is. Other times, Facebook opinions clue me in to things I would have otherwise had no idea about - as someone who isn't particularly tuned into the Batman franchise, for example, I don't think I would have ever heard about the Ben Affleck casting selection had people not been (mostly) up in arms about it.

And yet other times, Facebook opinions make me want to tell people to stop raining on my fucking parade.

For every person out there who obsesses over Dexter, there's another person who delights in telling you how they hate Dexter. People will even delight in telling you how they have no interest in Dexter because it seems like it sucks, which is the same as saying, "I have no knowledge of this thing but I'm going to shit all over it anyway."

For the record, I've never seen Dexter, but I've certainly seen this same scenario play out with Breaking Bad, with every woman who happily has her first pumpkin spice latte of the season*, and with just about any other thing that people get excited and vocal about. And it's never in the form of intelligent discourse, it's just in the form of "I'm better than you because I think this thing you love is terrible."

After getting a little annoyed over people who take pride in hating things I'm excited about, I had a mildly disturbing realization: I do this all the time.

I am the asshole who tweets something like, "So, like, there's a sports thing happening?" during the World Series or the Superbowl or one of those other things that literally millions of people look forward to and care deeply about. I am the first person to talk about how lame sparkly vampires are even though I haven't read a single page or seen a single second of Twilight. I do this because for some sick reason it makes me happy to act like I'm above these things and oh, look at you plebians who spend your time caring about such silly pursuits.

Why do I do this? I'm not above sports, and as much as it loathes me to say it, I'm probably not above Twilight either. They just don't interest me, and that's fine. Everyone else's enthusiasm for these things doesn't have any impact on my life, and those people certainly don't give even the tiniest bit of a crap that I don't care about Twilight or sports or Lost or the Batman franchise or any of those other things that I just haven't incorporated into my life because hey, there are only so many hours in the day and no one can possibly be into all the things, ever. Yet I still insist on making sure everyone knows my stance on these things instead of just letting everyone talk amongst themselves (speaking of talking amongst ourselves, let's all discuss Breaking Bad from now until we die, okay? Because...!!!).

Now that I'm aware of what I'm doing and how much it probably pisses other people off, I'm going to try and stop. Because there is no reason and no excuse for raining on someone's parade.

* Do men like pumpkin spice lattes too and are just less vocal about it?