You know what really perplexes me?
Women who look hot in gym clothes.
When I work out in any capacity (volleyball, dodgeball, yoga, trying not to be bored to death on the elliptical), I look like crap. My hair is in a ponytail and the Jew-fro flyaways are in full force forming a veritable lion's mane that frames my face. I have on shorts or yoga pants and some t-shirt left over from college. I sweat, my face turns red, and I'm otherwise not in the position for my looks to be judged because I'm a hot (literal) mess.
Apparently, though, this is not the case with all women. I go to the gym and see women in cute pants and tanktops, jewelry, makeup, and their HAIR DOWN.
This last one really gets to me. Sometimes when I work out I wish I could cut all my hair off because even the part of my ponytail that hits my neck bothers me with its sweaty sticky grossness. Whenever I watch So You Think You Can Dance I stare in awe at the girls dancing with their hair down (even in rehearsals, wtf) because I just can't do it. I would work out with my hair in a bun if it didn't make me look so much like a man.
Occasionally, part of an exercise regimen will require you to act like you think you're sexy. I encounter this in dance classes, particularly zumba. It's all hips swirling around. The thing is, my hips do not do what all zumba instructors' hips do but it really doesn't help that I pretty much feel my least attractive while trying to do it. And then I look around the room at all these well-dressed non-sweaty women who look hot and I just start to wonder whether or not they're part robot.
I'm not going to try to understand it. I'm just admitting defeat on this one.
6 comments:
They are cylons. Back away slowly and do not make direct eye contact. And yes, I just outed myself as a complete Sci-Fi geek there.
Ooh, that hair-down-while-working-out thing kills me. I am so with you on the "ponytail brushing the back of my neck makes me shudder" thing, too.
Instead you can stare at the sweaty men and make inappropriate comments toward them.
There are some prissy ones in my gym for sure. Me, I wear a few things that match and are nicer but aren't prissy. I still look schlubby and sweat like a pig. And that's, okay.
This is why I work out at home. :P
I get the sweaty ponytail and my face goes purple. NOT attractive when working out at all!!!
And I have absolutely no idea how people can wear their hair down when working out. I feel similarly about girls who wear their hair down when sunbathing. How can they stand it???
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