Rethinking the Guinness World Records

This morning, I read this article about the man who holds the Guinness world record for holding the most Guinness world records (how meta!).

I have no problem with the idea of world records. Fastest 100 meter dash? Tallest building? Sure, why not.

The thing that bothers me, though, is the creation of records for the sake of creating records. The pride and glory that people apparently get from holding Guinness records make them do things that no one would ever bother doing in real life.

For example, a few of the records that Mr. Furman, the ultimate record holder, has are: clapping his hands for the longest period of time (50 hours), longest distance covered by continuous somersaulting (12 miles), and the most apples thrown in the air and sliced with a Samurai sword in one minute (27 - okay, that's kind of awesome, but only because I wish I could slice even ONE airborne apple with a sword).

If people can think of the most arbitrary things in which to hold records, doesn't this diminish the importance of the Guinness institution? Am I the only person that thinks so? I know that Guinness doesn't accept every record application it gets, but still. Largest gathering of people dressed like characters from the Wizard of Oz? WHERE DOES THE MADNESS END?

All of this being said, I actually helped set 2 Guinness world records during my semester abroad in Sydney - the largest gathering of blondes in one place, and the world's longest tequila slam (a line of people all taking a shot one after the other). Both are pretty amusing stories, but I realize how utterly dumb they are, even as I feel some sort of solidarity with my tequila-guzzling peers. The blonde thing was a little bit of a stretch, even though I AM a natural dirty blonde. In more ways than one! HIYOOOO.

For all I know, one or both of those records have been broken by other groups in the 7 years since they've been set. I wouldn't be sad about it, to be honest. Until I can do something meaningful better or faster than the rest of the 6 billion people on this planet, I don't think I really deserve any recognition.