I am giving you all a grammar lesson. Remember when I taught you all how to use the STRIKE? This is like that, only...not.
The following is a general rule. Many of you will say, "Oh pish posh, Arielle. We don't do that silly thing." And I say: "YES YOU DO." Ready?
DO NOT USE MOTHERF'ING APOSTROPHES WHEN PLURALIZING THINGS.
See what I did there? "Things." Not "Thing's."
WHO TAUGHT YOU CRETINS TO DO THAT?
I realize that my grammar is far from perfect and you are more than welcome to hate over on this way if your pet peeve involves ending sentences with prepositions because I love doing that even though I know better.
Seriously, though. Why has the apostrophe managed to sneak its way into our plurals the way that "LOL" has snuck into the lexicons of wayyyy too many people my age. (P.S. if you are a dude who says "LOL," I will never date you. Truth.)
Here are some examples of how to properly pluralize:
Machete --> Machetes
Popsicle --> Popsicles
Mojito --> Mojitos
Deer --> Deer (tricky, that one!)
Do you see any apostrophes? NO YOU DO NOT.
The only time where it is maybe acceptable to use them is where it would otherwise be confusing.
Instead of...
I got straight As.
It is okay if you say...
I got straight A's.
One reason why this is okay is because you might get confused otherwise and be all, "Girlfriend, straight as what? First of all you don't know when to capitalize letters, and second of all you didn't finish your sentence."
You call me "Girlfriend" because you're sassy.
The other reason why this is okay is because Wikipedia says so.
Okay, everyone. You have been schooled. Go forth and make me happy.
Dropping that third grade knowledge
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Labels:
Nerdy stuff,
Random Observations
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8 comments:
LOVE. Also, I became so enraged about this same issue at work that I was nearly *forced* to buy this poster http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe. It now hangs proudly next to this one: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling.
Gah, people. It's NOT that hard!
Girlfriend.... word. Don't get me started on random commas (note - NO apostrophe) sprinkled throughout sentences with no apparent reason.
Oh my gosh, such a pet peeve of mine! I was just commenting about this on another blog. I hate Mother's Day and Father's Day because everyone posts:
"Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's out there on my list"
SO ANNOYING!
It's like people KNOW they are supposed to do something with apostrophes (not apostrophe's) and they are terrified of being made fun of for leaving it out, so they just add it everywhere.
What makes it even worse is when signmakers do it.
(I still screw up it's and its)
That was great! Thank you!!
"Your" is possessive. "You're" means "You are". I wish people could get that right. That one is my biggest pet peeve.
With me it is definitely the "you're/your" thing mentioned above that does my head in completely.
Add that to the "they're/there/their" thing and my head explodes.
These lesson's our so helpfull.
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