Live from the 82nd Academy Awards...

...are your ever-inebriated and awesome correspondents, myself and Dan. And by this I mean we had been scheming for weeks to liveblog (AKA gchat during) the Oscars. It was everything I expected and more - snarky comments, booze (Jack and DCs for me), and me discovering my magical ability to accurately predict winners at the very last second. You can read Dan's excellent recap, full of 100% new gchat quotes, here.

Oscar night proved to me a number of different things. First, that great minds really do think alike.

Dan: oh look at morgan freeman
Dan: he has a glove on his left hand
And then at the same time:
Dan: does this asshole think he's MJ?!
Arielle: tribute to MJ?

Second, that Dan is far more quick-witted than I am.
Arielle: is this the music from jurassic park?
Dan: haha its ET
Dan: who just happens to be hiding under her dress
(I really wish I remember who was on screen at the time)

Arielle: tom ford sort of looks like keanu reeves
Dan: he like, totally knows kung fu

Dan: and Precious wins one
Arielle: did this guy just run a marathon?
Arielle: why is he wheezing
Dan: he was probably on the can when they were announcing the nominees

I also learned, or rather reinforced, that I am heinously immature.

Arielle: did jlo just say butt sanders?
Arielle: as in that's someone's name?
Arielle: i guess ill never know

Talking about Gabourey Sidibe from Precious:
Arielle: it would suck if your name rhymed with "cabaret"
Arielle: come to the gabareeeeeey

Sometimes, alcohol causes you to be hilarious and/or ridiculous.

Arielle: helen mirren looks like an uppity bitch
Dan: damn helen mirren
Dan: I mean, dame
Dan: lolololol

Arielle: omg is that baby baldwin?

Dan: is that courtney love?!
Arielle: are you talking about michelle pfeiffer?
Dan: yeah at first her hair looked weird

The awesomeness abounded. But obviously I already knew we were awesome.

When James Taylor was about to perform:
Arielle: you've got a friend!
Dan: how sweet is to be loved byyyy youuu
Arielle: or you know, he can sing a beatles song, i guess
Arielle: on a scale of 1 to 10, how pissed would you be if you were james taylor and the producers were like "you're going to sing someone else's song"
Dan: 2 words: Hulk Smash

Dan: nice jacket streisand
Arielle: is she wearing a curtain around her neck?
Dan: ahaha
Dan: she wants to be a pirate
(a few minutes later)
Arielle: pirate is exiting stage right
Dan: shiver me timbers

In addition to my constant obsessing over how much I loved Inglourious Basterds was my constant obsessing over Ryan Reynolds.

Arielle: bradley cooper: the poor man's ryan reynolds
Dan: oh you'd still hook it up
Arielle: duh

The end. See you at the MTV Movie Awards, mayhaps?