What women talk about when they don't talk about men

When I think of something that I might potentially want to blog about, I write it down in the notes section of my phone. Often Sometimes I come up with these ideas when I'm drunk, so many of them never get used because while I do believe "in vino veritas," I also believe, "in vino, what the fuck was I thinking that idea is dumb." (My Latin is limited, I apologize).

One of the blog ideas in my phone says, "Are we only going to talk about dating for the rest of our lives?", which I think was written down after a boozy brunch many many months ago and which sort of accurately reflects the sense of mimosa-fueled despair that I was feeling at the time. Not despair about actually dating, but despair about the fact that sometimes it seems like no one talks about anything else. And I'm not sure I can go on like this.

Don't get me wrong - I love complaining about the lack of nice, normal men in New York. I could be a regular contributor to any site dedicated to creepy OK Cupid messages, and I spent all of 3 days on Tinder before I decided that I'm not cut out for the type of flirty repartee that it requires in order to be successful. In fact, here's a sample convo I had from those 3 days:

Tinder guy: What's your bra size?
Arielle: What's YOUR bra size?

See? I just can't indulge these people. But I digress.

Brunch is the perfect time to talk about dating - the weekends are when all the dating-y stuff goes down, and Sunday afternoon with your besties is a perfect time to dissect all that. The problem for me is that it's all the same. And it's been all the same ever since we were 22 and had just moved to the city. I love my friends and want to know what's going on in their lives, and of course I want to be able to talk to my girlzz about what's going on in my life, but how many times can we hear the same, "met a guy at a bar, we exchanged numbers, I never heard from him again," story before we feel like we're in some kind of Clockwork Orange-esque torture chamber?

So I kind of just have to wonder - is this all there is for us? For the rest of our lives? Or the rest of our single lives?

I'm not even unhappy being single. In fact, I think us single folk are doing a service to society. If not for single people in New York, what would happen to all the TV sitcoms? And rom-coms? And chick lit? And other 'coms' or rhyme-y things that always seem to focus around dating in New York?

So I'm happy to be doing my civic duty, navigating the city's choppy romantic waters, fighting the good fight so people can have their unrealistic movies about relationships that never seem to reflect anything real but that we consistently expect that real life will turn out that way anyway. I do this for YOU, America! And I do it proudly, except I guess I'm getting a little tired of all the repetitive discourse around it. The guys who didn't call, or the "should I wait at least 24 hours before responding to this text?" and that kind of nonsense.

I still want to hear the stories, of course. The good ones. Like the time you went to a show and a hot guy started talking to you and you were all, "What? Hot guys never talk to me, what is this and who are you, guy with the sexy blue eyes?" and you talked for like 15 minutes and then the hot guy dropped a casual, "I'm a student at NYU..." and you realized that this person was literally about 10 years younger than you.

If stuff like that happens to you, I want to hear about it. That actually happened a week ago to someone I know. Her name may or may not be similar to that of a fictional mermaid and she may or may not be the owner of this blog but NO MORE REVEALING DETAILS.

So what's the solution here? I guess I don't really have one because as long as women are single and as long as the men in New York are creeps and/or jerks, we're going to need to vent about it. But maybe instead of harping on things, let's think of some potential alternative conversation topics. For when the going gets really rough. Here's a starting list.

- Ironic hipster glasses - redundant, or an oxymoron?
- Puppies - if you had one, what would you name it? (Dr. Theodore Waffles). Sub-question: if you already have a puppy, can I come play with it?
- Benedict Cumberbatch - why do people think he's hot? He looks like an alien.
- The Winter Olympics - aren't we glad they're over? (Yes)
- The world - there's important stuff going on! Let's discuss in between complaining that our mimosas have too much OJ.
- Colors - what the fuck is chartreuse?
- Books - are you reading a good one? Recommend it to me so I can add it on Goodreads!

Etcetera.

Arielle's Top 8 New (to me) Artists of 2013

2013 was a year in which my musical tastes changed - or I suppose I should say broadened - quite a bit. I went to more shows, became a more active consumer of music and made more of an effort to learn about what I was listening to.

"Arielle, you go to a lot of shows," many people have noticed.

"Who are some of your favorite new artists?" no one ever asks. Well, no one, I'll tell you!

So even though no one seems to write these "year in review" type retrospectives once it has actually turned the new year, I will run the risk of being gauche and list my 8 favorite additions to my iPod in 2013. In no particular order...


1. Vampire Weekend

While much of this whole list will qualify as "Arielle, you are absurdly late to the party on this one," this is probably most true of Vampire Weekend. These indie rock guys are upbeat and fun and even Ezra Koenig's lack of stage presence cannot bring them down (it helps that his Twitter is hilarious, though).




2. Bassnectar

Bassnectar makes me want to get down and dirty. I mean this literally. It makes me want to dance low to the ground while covered in mud. His stuff is sick and filthy and lots of other words that are supposed to mean bad things but are actually good things.



3. Pretty Lights

I downloaded some Pretty Lights stuff early in 2013 because I was supposed to go to a festival he was playing at and I wanted to familiarize myself with the music before I went. Well, I didn't go to that festival, or the other festival I was supposed to go to, or the other other festival I was supposed to go to where he would be, but I kept listening to his stuff anyway and by the time I finally saw him in October I was long since hooked. Every EDM fan I've met in the year since I got into this scene loves Pretty Lights, as well they should. His live shows are unparalleled. And they involve top notch use of lasers. I take the shittiest ever concert photos and even I was able to capture these:

As a bonus, in case any of you happen to be cool enough to own a turntable, I was told his music sounds amazing on vinyl. So, there's that.



4. Gramatik

One of the reasons I love Gramatik is because his music is so diverse. You can get excited about 10 songs that all sound different but are all wonderful and chill but hip-shakey. Plus, his guitarist looks like Bret from Flight of the Conchords.

5. Alex Clare

You know Alex Clare. He has that song in that commercial. You know that song. "And it feels like I am just too close to love you...WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB." I went to listen to him at Lollapalooza solely for that song (what commercial even is that?) and ended up loving his entire set. He was blues-y and rock-y and many things in between. His entire album is amazing. And he's Jewish! What what.



6. Knife Party

Drink an extra cup of coffee before heading to see these Aussies work their magic. This is some high energy crazy nonsense flail around dance party stuff. "You blocked me on Facebook! And now you're going to die." (Around 1:40ish in the video) (And for anyone who cares, my favorite song by them is called Sleaze)



7. Brillz

Brillz was a Pandora find, which is pretty exciting because hey, isn't that the point of Pandora, kind of? He's classified as trap music, which is a term I only really learned how to use in the last few months. While I was underwhelmed with his live performance when I saw him a few days ago, I don't even care because I will gladly just listen to his album over and over again at home.



8. Big Gigantic

Walk, don't run, to Big G's website where you can download all their stuff for free (this is true of several artists on this list, actually). They are amazing. This is like EDM/jazz fusion with one guy on the drums and one guy on the sax AND doing all the production. It's super dancey but not clubby dancey. Groove dancey. I got into Big Gigantic when I bought tickets to see Brillz (see above!). Big G was the headliner so after buying the tickets I downloaded some of their stuff and before I listened to it was all, "Well, I'll just leave after Brillz if I don't like this because I'm sooo alternative, leaving before the headliner and shit," except I loved it so much and that show was SO MUCH FUN. When it ended my soul filled with tears because I wanted it to go on forever and even though I had barely heard of them a month ago, I cannot imagine my life without Big G in it now.


And there you have it. I was initially going to do a list of 10, but I had trouble narrowing the last 2 spots down from a number of contenders (also I got lazy). So, honorable mentions go to:

- Passion Pit
- Matt & Kim
- Showtek
- Atlas Genius
- The Glitch Mob
- Flux Pavilion
- The Black Keys
- HAIM
- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

What new music did you discover in 2013??

Goodbye, Roxy

In my junior year of high school, my family adopted an 8 week old german shepherd mix from a shelter. I didn't think she could replace our golden retriever, who we had lost a few months earlier, but I quickly grew to love her for all the things that made her similar to - as well as different from - our first dog.

That was 14 years ago, and I cannot imagine my New Jersey home without Roxy's face greeting me in the window, sitting under the table hoping to catch some scraps during meals, or resting in the den while my parents watch TV. I loved playing games with her around the house, and even as she got older and less energetic, I would always spend a fair amount of time at home sitting next to her on the floor, petting her and trying to get her to pose for pictures.

14 is pretty old for a dog, but Roxy was surprisingly healthy. She was lazier, sure, and we were pretty sure she didn't hear as well as she used to, but she was still pretty youthful for her age. I knew, though, that it couldn't last that long, and for the last few months I've had a sneaking feeling in the back of my head that she was due to start declining pretty soon. I sometimes felt preemptively sad for the pain I knew was coming - I had seen my last dog's health decline (he was only 7 years old, sadly) and knew it was a heartbreaking process. But I would accept and enjoy Roxy's good health as long as I could.

What I did not expect was the New Year's Day phone call from my dad. It started with, "there was an accident," and even though it was only an 8 minute phone call, it felt like the world's longest story. I started sobbing long before he reached the end, because I knew what the punchline was going to be.

All this time I was worrying about my dog getting sick, but instead I should have been worrying about her getting hit by a car.

And so I've spent the last day crying hysterically, partially because the dog I've known for almost half my life is gone and I didn't even get to say goodbye, and partially because the end of her life was so tragic and unfair. I've been crying for the pain and fear I hope she wasn't conscious enough to feel, and for the fact that if she was conscious, there was a span of several hours between the time of the accident and the time that she was put down at the vet's office after they determined that her back was broken. She deserved so much better.

Roxy, you were a great friend and pseudo kid sister, and you brought so much joy to our family for so many years. I will always miss you.