What women talk about when they don't talk about men

When I think of something that I might potentially want to blog about, I write it down in the notes section of my phone. Often Sometimes I come up with these ideas when I'm drunk, so many of them never get used because while I do believe "in vino veritas," I also believe, "in vino, what the fuck was I thinking that idea is dumb." (My Latin is limited, I apologize).

One of the blog ideas in my phone says, "Are we only going to talk about dating for the rest of our lives?", which I think was written down after a boozy brunch many many months ago and which sort of accurately reflects the sense of mimosa-fueled despair that I was feeling at the time. Not despair about actually dating, but despair about the fact that sometimes it seems like no one talks about anything else. And I'm not sure I can go on like this.

Don't get me wrong - I love complaining about the lack of nice, normal men in New York. I could be a regular contributor to any site dedicated to creepy OK Cupid messages, and I spent all of 3 days on Tinder before I decided that I'm not cut out for the type of flirty repartee that it requires in order to be successful. In fact, here's a sample convo I had from those 3 days:

Tinder guy: What's your bra size?
Arielle: What's YOUR bra size?

See? I just can't indulge these people. But I digress.

Brunch is the perfect time to talk about dating - the weekends are when all the dating-y stuff goes down, and Sunday afternoon with your besties is a perfect time to dissect all that. The problem for me is that it's all the same. And it's been all the same ever since we were 22 and had just moved to the city. I love my friends and want to know what's going on in their lives, and of course I want to be able to talk to my girlzz about what's going on in my life, but how many times can we hear the same, "met a guy at a bar, we exchanged numbers, I never heard from him again," story before we feel like we're in some kind of Clockwork Orange-esque torture chamber?

So I kind of just have to wonder - is this all there is for us? For the rest of our lives? Or the rest of our single lives?

I'm not even unhappy being single. In fact, I think us single folk are doing a service to society. If not for single people in New York, what would happen to all the TV sitcoms? And rom-coms? And chick lit? And other 'coms' or rhyme-y things that always seem to focus around dating in New York?

So I'm happy to be doing my civic duty, navigating the city's choppy romantic waters, fighting the good fight so people can have their unrealistic movies about relationships that never seem to reflect anything real but that we consistently expect that real life will turn out that way anyway. I do this for YOU, America! And I do it proudly, except I guess I'm getting a little tired of all the repetitive discourse around it. The guys who didn't call, or the "should I wait at least 24 hours before responding to this text?" and that kind of nonsense.

I still want to hear the stories, of course. The good ones. Like the time you went to a show and a hot guy started talking to you and you were all, "What? Hot guys never talk to me, what is this and who are you, guy with the sexy blue eyes?" and you talked for like 15 minutes and then the hot guy dropped a casual, "I'm a student at NYU..." and you realized that this person was literally about 10 years younger than you.

If stuff like that happens to you, I want to hear about it. That actually happened a week ago to someone I know. Her name may or may not be similar to that of a fictional mermaid and she may or may not be the owner of this blog but NO MORE REVEALING DETAILS.

So what's the solution here? I guess I don't really have one because as long as women are single and as long as the men in New York are creeps and/or jerks, we're going to need to vent about it. But maybe instead of harping on things, let's think of some potential alternative conversation topics. For when the going gets really rough. Here's a starting list.

- Ironic hipster glasses - redundant, or an oxymoron?
- Puppies - if you had one, what would you name it? (Dr. Theodore Waffles). Sub-question: if you already have a puppy, can I come play with it?
- Benedict Cumberbatch - why do people think he's hot? He looks like an alien.
- The Winter Olympics - aren't we glad they're over? (Yes)
- The world - there's important stuff going on! Let's discuss in between complaining that our mimosas have too much OJ.
- Colors - what the fuck is chartreuse?
- Books - are you reading a good one? Recommend it to me so I can add it on Goodreads!

Etcetera.