It's Going to Be Okay

Friday kind of sucked for me.

It was some combination of the fact that I finally accepted that things with that guy are not going to happen (because nothing says, "I don't give a shit about you" quite like someone telling you they're going to come to the party you and your roommates are throwing at your apartment and then THROWING THEIR OWN PARTY AT THEIR OWN APARTMENT INSTEAD), and the phone call I received right as I was leaving Lacey's office for the day. I quote:

"We were going to make you an offer last week, but then the client changed the scope of the project so they aren't hiring anyone new anymore."**

So I was having one of those days where I feel like some twisted version of King Midas where everything I touch falls to shit. And I wallowed in my pity party until it was time to meet some sorority sisters for dinner, which is pretty much the best thing I can think of for pulling me out of my shitty mood.

The thing about being in a bad mood is that I'm still not used to them. I don't have emotional highs and lows most of the time - I'm just kind of content. So when I get upset about things I get REALLY upset about things and my brain goes into this really dark place and it feels all sorts of unhealthy and unstable and "un" any other positive things that one is supposed to be in life.

At these times, I feel like I'm not normal. Like everyone else is so much better at managing setbacks than I am. It's at those times where I can't believe that I quit going to therapy because UCH EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE.

I think, though, that this is actually really normal. Being upset, that is. Getting in a bad mood and wanting your life to be better and holding back tears on the R train. Maybe, instead of freaking out that my whole life is out of balance, I should just accept that normal people are unhappy sometimes and that getting upset over things that are acceptable to be upset about is a sign that I'm not the emotional closet case I once was. That maybe, among the many lessons that I'm apparently learning in this year of quarterlife crisis, is the knowledge that sometimes life just sucks. And that is not only normal, but it's okay.

Right?

**Also, as I was writing this post I received a phone call from a woman at a job that I've been trying to schedule an interview for for weeks. She would call and ask for my schedule, then say she'll find out the hiring manager's schedule and call me back. Then she'd call back 2 days later and ask me AGAIN for my schedule and then I would email her being like HELLO CAN I SET UP THIS INTERVIEW PLEASE. So today she called to tell me the position has been filled. I mean, IS THIS REAL LIFE? Did I miss the secret password that was apparently required to just schedule an interview? What the fuck. Sigh.

This is my new series called Stratejoy Monday. To learn more about all this goodness, see the first 5 months of my Stratejoy journey here.