My skillz

I'm pretty much the least artistic person I know. I do not craft, do not scrapbook, do not do anything that involves any measure of patience or talent or focus on perfection because I lack all of those things. I am the queen of half-assery, which most of you have probably realized by now.

The only remotely crafty thing I ever do, and do well, might I add, is iron letters onto t-shirts.

I know, I know. You're in awe.

The thing about making shirts is not so much that I love the crafty part of it, but that I will take any and all opportunities to dress up in costume or in some other type of ridiculous attire. Writing sassy things on shirts is just a natural extension of that. Ahem.

This is me and Lacey in 2006 with the shirts we did for our soccer team.

Yup, even sake bombing requires a shirt. The back of the shirts says "Captain." Because...that's what we are. We're pretty hardcore about our sake bombing (UNDERSTATEMENT).

These were for the Quidditch World Cup. The backs say "...but a snitch ain't one." TELL ME THAT IS NOT THE MOST GENIUS THING THAT ANYONE HAS EVER THOUGHT OF. Obviously I thought of it. Apparently I wasn't the only one though, because they were selling t-shirts with that slogan on them at the event. Wah.

You can't really tell what this says, but the back of my shirt says "CO-MOH," which is for co-maid of honor. These were for Lacey's bachelorette party (obviously Lacey also loves the iron-on letters since she's a part of a lot of these. This is why we're friends).

Lauren models the tanks we made for a 2011 Ke$ha concert. Some Glee humor for all you Gleeks out there (PS, does anyone else think this season is 100 times better than seasons 2 or 3? I do, and it makes me happy).

This is for tomorrow (Saturday), when Lauren and I will go see Jay-Z at the new Barclay's Center in Brooklyn. The front says "HOVA." You can't tell from the picture but these shirts are obnoxiously yellow. Highlighter yellow. Blindingly yellow. It shall be glorious.

There are others, but...you get the idea.

Booyah.

It's Going to Be Okay

Friday kind of sucked for me.

It was some combination of the fact that I finally accepted that things with that guy are not going to happen (because nothing says, "I don't give a shit about you" quite like someone telling you they're going to come to the party you and your roommates are throwing at your apartment and then THROWING THEIR OWN PARTY AT THEIR OWN APARTMENT INSTEAD), and the phone call I received right as I was leaving Lacey's office for the day. I quote:

"We were going to make you an offer last week, but then the client changed the scope of the project so they aren't hiring anyone new anymore."**

So I was having one of those days where I feel like some twisted version of King Midas where everything I touch falls to shit. And I wallowed in my pity party until it was time to meet some sorority sisters for dinner, which is pretty much the best thing I can think of for pulling me out of my shitty mood.

The thing about being in a bad mood is that I'm still not used to them. I don't have emotional highs and lows most of the time - I'm just kind of content. So when I get upset about things I get REALLY upset about things and my brain goes into this really dark place and it feels all sorts of unhealthy and unstable and "un" any other positive things that one is supposed to be in life.

At these times, I feel like I'm not normal. Like everyone else is so much better at managing setbacks than I am. It's at those times where I can't believe that I quit going to therapy because UCH EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE.

I think, though, that this is actually really normal. Being upset, that is. Getting in a bad mood and wanting your life to be better and holding back tears on the R train. Maybe, instead of freaking out that my whole life is out of balance, I should just accept that normal people are unhappy sometimes and that getting upset over things that are acceptable to be upset about is a sign that I'm not the emotional closet case I once was. That maybe, among the many lessons that I'm apparently learning in this year of quarterlife crisis, is the knowledge that sometimes life just sucks. And that is not only normal, but it's okay.

Right?

**Also, as I was writing this post I received a phone call from a woman at a job that I've been trying to schedule an interview for for weeks. She would call and ask for my schedule, then say she'll find out the hiring manager's schedule and call me back. Then she'd call back 2 days later and ask me AGAIN for my schedule and then I would email her being like HELLO CAN I SET UP THIS INTERVIEW PLEASE. So today she called to tell me the position has been filled. I mean, IS THIS REAL LIFE? Did I miss the secret password that was apparently required to just schedule an interview? What the fuck. Sigh.

This is my new series called Stratejoy Monday. To learn more about all this goodness, see the first 5 months of my Stratejoy journey here. 

Embracing my singleness and trying to calm the cray cray

Those of you who read any of my Stratejoy posts probably read my fancy little bio that appeared at the end of every post. For anyone who's never seen it, here it is:

Now, here's a thing that probably 0 of you ever thought when reading this:

"Hey, Stratejoy blogging is a 5 month gig. Why would you write about being single when that's something that could very easily change over half a year?"

And you would be right. When our season started, 3 out of 7 of us season 6 bloggers were single. By the time the season was over, only 1 of us was. And, as you probably guessed, it was the one of us who was confident enough in the consistency of her singleness to put it in a bio that would run publicly for 5 months.

This may seem like the start of a pity party, but you should know me well enough by now to realize that when it comes to relationships (or lack thereof), I don't feel insecure about flying solo.

So I'm not only comfortable in being single, but I'm comfortable in being PERPETUALLY single (although seriously, my Kindle Fire is very sexy indeed). And despite the fact that this trait is theoretically something that changes over time, I still feel like it defines me. But not even in a bad way. It doesn't mark me as some sort of social pariah, it just kind of shows the world that "finding a man" has never really been a top priority in my life (and clearly relationships just don't fall into my lap as they do for some). It's just like, yup, here I am. Blue eyes, 5'5" (almost), loves to read, plays volleyball, single.

The thing about all these traits that I listed is that not only are they all at least very consistent if not permanent, but that I don't think about them all the time. Aside from this whole series about being single, I don't typically spend that much time thinking or writing about how I'm not in a relationship. It's just a part of who I am that for the most part stays in the background.

I know this post has no point as of yet, and, SPOILER ALERT, it probably won't ever. But I wanted to talk about why I've been thinking about this stuff lately.

A lot of you have probably heard married people say things like "Oh I'm so glad I don't have to do the single thing anymore." I always resent those comments because a) I obviously don't feel inferior to married people by sheer virtue of my being single, and b) what do you mean "the single thing"? The thing where I don't have anyone to have stupid fights with and the thing where I can walk into any bar or event or ANYWHERE and see a whole range of possible people with whom I could get my makeout on? Because to me, those things are great.

This past weekend, though, I went into one of these crazy woman downward spirals that essentially consisted of the following events:

Text guy
No response
Wait awhile
Next day, still no response
Gchat whine to friends
Day drink heavily
Text whine to friends
WHAT DID I DO WRONG I HATE MYSELF
Being drunk makes you sadder FYI
I FEEL SO STUPID I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TEXTED
Keep drinking
Keep text whining
Think about how BLINDSIDED I am by him ignoring me
JUST KEEP SWIMMING DRINKING

And so on. It wasn't my finest hour.

As I sat there, my mind a ridiculous blur of mimosas and batshit crazy, I thought, "I GET IT NOW. THIS IS THE BULLSHIT MARRIED PEOPLE ARE HAPPY TO NOT DEAL WITH ANYMORE."

Now that I'm sober and now that the guy has texted me back as I probably should have realized he would and NEXT TIME, SELF, DON'T FREAK THE FUCK OUT, I think about how upset I got and I'm not happy with it.

First of all, that is not the woman I want to be.

Second of all, I do not know or care enough about this guy to warrant acting like that.

Newsflash, this post has a point now because I just thought of one. Here goes.

Any permanent or semi-permanent trait is going to have pros and cons. My blue eyes, for example, are pretty. But having light eyes also means that I look squinty in any pictures taken outdoors.

Similarly, if I'm going to embrace being single, as I clearly already have, I have to take the ups with the downs. So while I have the freedom to go to a friend's party and mingle with one of her cute guy friends, I have to also be prepared to RATIONALLY deal with what happens if it doesn't work out exactly how I want it to or even if it doesn't work out at all.

Acceptance, guys. Coming to terms with all my shit.

This is good.

**This is my new series called Stratejoy Monday. To learn more about all this goodness, see the first 5 months of my Stratejoy journey here.