My "fuck you" to ignorance

A month or so ago, I was invited to write for a site that I won't name. It was a group blog with a decent readership, authored by a diverse group of people. The owner approached me because he thought they could use the voice of a "young, urban female" and he liked what he read here.

I was extremely flattered, as no one ever asks me to write anywhere. More than that, I was intimidated. The posts that I read there were well-written and intelligent, if somewhat bordering on intellectual to the point of being dry. It was a far cry from the occasional storytelling and whatever else it is that I do here, but I was excited about the challenge and signed on for their standard requirement: 3 posts a month about anything I wanted.

I wrote a few posts but never linked to any of them because I didn't care that much about them, and I ended up mostly skipping or skimming the posts from the other authors (that whole "dry intellectual" thing is really not what I like to read in my free time). A few titles caught my eye, though, so occasionally I read some things.

And frankly, I was disgusted.

I found myself reading a post talking about how Equal Pay Day is "hooey." I read a post about how feminism is a bunch of bullshit because men have been the oppressed gender all along. I read a rant about "lefties" and their tyranny in forcing Brendan Eich out of the top spot at Mozilla because of his past donation to Prop 8. And that wasn't even all of them.

I read these posts and fumed. I wrote, and never published, angry retorts. I decided I didn't want to get involved in a comment war that would surely end in nothing but frustration. Where does one even begin in trying to reason with someone who doesn't believe the data saying women are paid less than men?

The more I read, the more I hated myself for being a part of that site, and the less I ever wanted to link to any of my posts and drive traffic there. I knew that this site encompassed a diverse range of perspectives but, perhaps naively, it had never crossed my mind that among the diversity would also be bigotry. Living in a city as wonderfully liberal as New York, you never really encounter those people. You know, the ones who don't believe in things like, oh I don't know, fucking equality.

I sent the site owner the following email:

While I never thought I would last forever on the site, I certainly thought I would make it longer than this. But alas, here I am, tendering my resignation as an author on ----. In my short time there I've seen a few too many ignorant, hateful posts that stem from people leaning so far to the right that they're actually just leaning backwards. I've never been one to mind those of different political leanings when it comes to, say, fiscal conservatism or the debate over universal healthcare, but I can't get down with anyone who legitimately does not believe in a) all humans being treated as equals, and b) that there is so much work to be done towards said equality. While I realize that others' opinions don't reflect on me, I have no desire to share the same virtual space as them. And so I thank you so much for this opportunity, as you have been nothing but gracious to me, but I cannot continue with this. I apologize for all the effort you went through to get me on board, and I do hope you find a new "young urban female" voice soon. Perhaps one that is a little braver than I and wants to tackle the challenge of converting the ignorant over simply choosing to surround herself with people who believe in equality, open-mindedness and tolerance - and only those people.

Arielle

Our exchange went on from there, and included the owner linking me to a photo of the offending author's son and his African American prom date, which he had posted as a comment elsewhere on the site. The intent was to make me see that this person is not, in fact, a bigot. I told the owner that I was glad that at least this man had evolved enough to accept racial minorities as equals. And after a few more back and forths, we had said our goodbyes.

At first I thought maybe I should have stayed on as an author, using my "young, urban female"ness - 3 qualities which seemed to be underrepresented on the site - to make some impassioned arguments in favor of some of those values that we "lefties" hold so dear. But I didn't join the site to go to war. I didn't want to read posts by "colleagues" and feel outrage. Writing is a hobby for me; something I do for fun. And so I said my non-literal "fuck you" to ignorance and left. It may have been the quietest possible "fuck you" I could have mustered in that situation, but I was making my point.

If having tolerant, accepting, loving friends and family is a bubble I'm sheltering myself with, I will happily stay cocooned in here most of the time. I like to believe that in the moments when I do choose to fight the good fight, it has been, and will be, in ways more powerful and effective than a petty comment war could have ever been.