Forgiveness

I have the very last Joy Juice journal prompt sitting in my inbox. It's been over a year, 119 introspective journal entries, and a whole lot of...well, everything. Goals, thoughts, realizations, criticisms. As a way of making sure I'm fully prepared to write my response to entry #120, I'm rereading my entire Joy Juice journal, month by month. As I go, I'm pulling out quotes, to-dos, and other things I want to take with me as I head into a life slightly less Stratejoy-ful.

As I reviewed month 3, the Authenticity month, I came across the following and I wanted to post it here for 2 reasons. First, because I need the reminder. And second, because I was going to skip Stratejoy Monday today but HAHA now I don't have to. High five.

I wrote this on December 7, 2011. It is completely unedited. The prompt was:

Write a letter to yourself. Accept, forgive and give value to the lessons you learned from something you consider a "wrong choice" or a "bad decision."

I couldn't think of any specific examples, so I went the general route instead, which I think works better for me as far as self-improvement purposes are concerned.

Dear Arielle,

I forgive you for not standing up for yourself more often. For being timid and sitting idly by when things happen that are unfair to you, or people screw you over and instead of giving them a piece of your mind, you swallow it and move on.

I know how hard it can be to do this, sometimes. Standing up for yourself involves becoming vulnerable in a way, in showing that you are upset with something, and we both know how vulnerability isn't your strong suit.

You're not a pushover. I know it. Just think about the small victories - when you defended your right to bring a girl and not a guy to a formal in college, or when you went into your boss's office and told her how you deserved the promotion that she had neglected to give you. If you keep these in mind more - how you stepped outside your comfort zone and put your true thoughts and feelings out there EVEN if it didn't work out the way you wanted it to - I know it will inspire you to have more and more of these moments of self-assuredness. Until one day, standing up for your true, real, honest self will be the rule, not the exception.

Until then, we must accept the losses with the victories. You can't change yourself immediately, but you have to slowly chip away at the bad habits until only the good remains. So from each moment where you say to yourself, "I could have said more on my behalf," let's learn from it, accept our mistakes, and move on, more powerful than before.

You are amazing. The world needs to hear your voice.

Onward and upward, and always on your side even when no one else is,

Arielle

**This is my new series called Stratejoy Monday. To learn more about all this goodness, see the first 5 months of my Stratejoy journey here.