As you all know, I recently joined seemingly everyone else in the world and got a smartphone. I occasionally like to go through the user dictionary on my phone and delete all the words that I typed by accident when I was either drunk or just too lazy to correct my typos. I see this as maintenance and a way of ensuring that these words have a lower chance of popping up in further emails/texts/etc.
I noticed that, in only 2 months, I have amassed quite a personal dictionary of words I've taught my little Droid to know. Here are some examples. They typically fall into a few categories:
Words Where I Choose to Extend One Letter For Entirely Too Long
Amazinggg
Awesomeeeee
Babyyyy
Craaaazy
Everrrr
Hoorayyyyy
Lataaaaa
Nerdddd
Noooooo
Wtfffff
Words Related to Drinking and/or Generally Going Out
Bev
Bouncer
Hungover
Loko
LOKOOOOOO (some overlap in the categories, it seems)
Margaritas
Partaytay
Pregaming
Shithoused
Whipahol
Words That Are Just Flat Out Not Real Dictionary Words
Awk
Badass
Barf
Bihotch
Cougartown
Deets
Frowny
Hobos
Inappropes
Totes
I also could probably dedicate entire sections to variations on curse words (Fuck vs. fucking vs. FUCKING) and offshoots of the word "haha" (ahaha, hahahaha, HAHA).
Essentially what this boils down to is that...I have the vocabulary of a 15 year old girl. Nice.
The odd woman out
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Labels:
Our country has problems,
Random Observations,
Weird
I am now going to write about a very important topic. I hope you're ready.
At some point during business school, over the many weekends that I stayed with various friends in NYC, I realized something very strange. I noticed that one of my friends puts her bras on upside down and backwards. She clasps it in the front, then turns it around and flips it up and puts it on.
I saw this go on (without seeing any boobs, for those of you who are wondering, hello any men reading this) and was all, "Are you 13 years old? Put your bra on like an adult." I thought it was totally crazy that a grown woman would still do this. I put my bra on the way it's supposed to go on. I clasp it behind my back and it takes me all of 3 seconds.
The next time I was out at dinner with the girls, I took an informal poll as to how people put their bras on. And you know what I found out?
EVERYONE PUTS THEIR BRAS ON UPSIDE DOWN AND BACKWARDS.
Further polling has given me similar results.
I mean, what the fuck?
I was flabbergasted. Everyone was all, "wah wah it's easier, it's so hard to do it when you can't see." PEOPLE! Do men not take bras off without seeing? I mean sure maybe it's easier to open than to close but some guys can do it with one hand and my friends, I most certainly cannot clasp my bra with one hand so I'd say we're about even. Me and the men, that is.
Also, I do this every day. Most men probably don't deal with bras every day. And if they do, well, lucky them.
For realsies, though. Am I the only woman out there who took the time to struggle through putting a bra on PROPERLY, much in the same way we struggle to learn to tie our shoes? Sure, at first it's a little slow but after doing it like, 10 times you get the hang of it. I swear, I will race any chick out there who puts her bra on backwards like a 12 year old and I'll win. Even with one of those bras with 3 clasps.
Okay, the idea of this race is pretty weird, so feel free to not hold me to it. But you get the idea.
What is this world coming to when women refuse to learn a simple task? Dear women out there: if you have an itch on your back, let's say, right around the spot where your bra usually is, can you reach back and scratch it? Can you write legibly between the lines on a sheet of ruled paper? If you answered "yes" to both of these, congratulations! You are both flexible enough and have strong enough fine motor skills to be able to put your bra on without all the twisting and whatever else. Try it out sometime.
Is anyone with me on this?
At some point during business school, over the many weekends that I stayed with various friends in NYC, I realized something very strange. I noticed that one of my friends puts her bras on upside down and backwards. She clasps it in the front, then turns it around and flips it up and puts it on.
I saw this go on (without seeing any boobs, for those of you who are wondering, hello any men reading this) and was all, "Are you 13 years old? Put your bra on like an adult." I thought it was totally crazy that a grown woman would still do this. I put my bra on the way it's supposed to go on. I clasp it behind my back and it takes me all of 3 seconds.
The next time I was out at dinner with the girls, I took an informal poll as to how people put their bras on. And you know what I found out?
EVERYONE PUTS THEIR BRAS ON UPSIDE DOWN AND BACKWARDS.
Further polling has given me similar results.
I mean, what the fuck?
I was flabbergasted. Everyone was all, "wah wah it's easier, it's so hard to do it when you can't see." PEOPLE! Do men not take bras off without seeing? I mean sure maybe it's easier to open than to close but some guys can do it with one hand and my friends, I most certainly cannot clasp my bra with one hand so I'd say we're about even. Me and the men, that is.
Also, I do this every day. Most men probably don't deal with bras every day. And if they do, well, lucky them.
For realsies, though. Am I the only woman out there who took the time to struggle through putting a bra on PROPERLY, much in the same way we struggle to learn to tie our shoes? Sure, at first it's a little slow but after doing it like, 10 times you get the hang of it. I swear, I will race any chick out there who puts her bra on backwards like a 12 year old and I'll win. Even with one of those bras with 3 clasps.
Okay, the idea of this race is pretty weird, so feel free to not hold me to it. But you get the idea.
What is this world coming to when women refuse to learn a simple task? Dear women out there: if you have an itch on your back, let's say, right around the spot where your bra usually is, can you reach back and scratch it? Can you write legibly between the lines on a sheet of ruled paper? If you answered "yes" to both of these, congratulations! You are both flexible enough and have strong enough fine motor skills to be able to put your bra on without all the twisting and whatever else. Try it out sometime.
Is anyone with me on this?
The best part of 2010
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Labels:
Hilarity to the M-A-X
I'm not going to do a full recap of 2010. Babies were born, friends got married, relatives passed away. Degrees were obtained, moves happened, jobs were gotten. You get the idea.
I'm also not going to post any resolutions for 2011 because I don't really have them. I could come up with some if forced to, like, "Try to maybe only have 1 vodka soda too many on a Saturday night instead of maybe FOUR vodka sodas too many." But I don't typically think about these things.
Instead, I'm going to post my favorite Youtube video of 2010. There were a lot of great ones this year considering the double rainbow guy and Antoine Dodson, but this one just cracks me up every single time and makes me realize that even though I currently cringe at the thought of ever having children, if I ever decide to go down that route, there will be moments like this to look forward to. It's not actually from 2010 but I didn't discover it until this year and I was missing out. So were you.
I'm also not going to post any resolutions for 2011 because I don't really have them. I could come up with some if forced to, like, "Try to maybe only have 1 vodka soda too many on a Saturday night instead of maybe FOUR vodka sodas too many." But I don't typically think about these things.
Instead, I'm going to post my favorite Youtube video of 2010. There were a lot of great ones this year considering the double rainbow guy and Antoine Dodson, but this one just cracks me up every single time and makes me realize that even though I currently cringe at the thought of ever having children, if I ever decide to go down that route, there will be moments like this to look forward to. It's not actually from 2010 but I didn't discover it until this year and I was missing out. So were you.